(…continued from God of My Story, Part 6…)

So how do I move from believing there was one all-encompassing god to only One Way and One God?  What changed?  What happened?  You may be wondering and I’ll try my best to explain what the Holy Spirit did to my heart.

My God, the One True God, had changed my mind, my heart and my soul.   I no longer believed there was one god over all religions and belief systems of the world. 

John 14:6  Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me…”

I no longer believed you just had to be “good” to get to heaven.  I had learned, observed, and finally began to experience that relationship with Christ that cannot be found in the things of this world:  friends, the opposite sex, money, busy-ness, drugs, nature (when idolized as a god), jobs, media and Hollywood, etc.  

Romans 5:10-11 For since our friendship with God was restored by the death of his Son while we were still his enemies, we will certainly be saved through the life of his Son.  So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God.

That hole in my heart had been filled.  That elusive thing I had been trying to put my finger was now firmly in my grasp.  This relationship could not be found in that sweat lodge.  There was not enough steam in the world that could cleanse me of any wrong-doing nor bring me any closer to the one Holy God.   There was not enough ceremony or “good things” I could do to bring me closer to Him either.  He was too Holy and I – too broken and dirty.  In fact, my efforts to even get closer to Him like that – prideful! 

Romans 11:6 And since it is through God’s kindness, then it is not by their good works. For in that case, God’s grace would not be what it really is—free and undeserved.

The stunning beauty of it all is that I came to the realization that what God’s Word said was so true – it was lived out in front of me in so many people.  I had seen Him change lives!  What better evidence could there be!  And if all those things were true and real, I had to either accept all of it or none of it.  His Word said that, His voice whispered it in my heart, that He loved me so much that in order to make me good enough to be in His presence in Heaven – because nothing I could ever do would – He had to do something extraordinary to make it happen.  And He wanted and strongly desired a relationship with me.  Was this all true?  

John 3:16-20 “For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him. There is no judgment against anyone who believes in him. But anyone who does not believe in him has already been judged for not believing in God’s one and only Son. And the judgment is based on this fact: God’s light came into the world, but people loved the darkness more than the light, for their actions were evil. All who do evil hate the light and refuse to go near it for fear their sins will be exposed.”

Titus 2:14 He gave his life to free us from every kind of sin, to cleanse us, and to make us his very own people, totally committed to doing good deeds.

 He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, as the ultimate sacrifice at an “altar” to wash the yuck away, far away from me, to make me perfect in God’s eyes so that I could enjoy being in His most perfect, Holy and Pure Presence and to enjoy a relationship with God my Father, Jesus Christ His Son, and the Holy Spirit.

As I stated in the last post, I learned quickly that Christians are not perfect.  I had expected them to be.  I had seen hurt come from Christians.  I had been hurt by Christians.  We are not perfect.  We sinned.  We continue to sin – to mess up – in small ways and in big ways.  The relief that floods my heart is that Jesus Christ has forgiven me, effectively forgotten my sins, and just like He forgives me and continues to do so, I always forgive others on a daily basis.  When I mess up royally, and its often, I repent – I acknowledge I messed up, I ask for forgiveness, and I commit to doing better and the Holy Spirit in me helps and teaches me.  Imagine a marriage relationship – you mess up, your spouse is angry, you ask for forgivenes and an opportunity to do better.  And through the years you both grow in your relationship.  But imagine this on an unimaginable scale – that is how it is with God. 

The standards I live by?  How do I be “good” now?  The Bible, God’s Word, and the Holy Spirit guide me.  I do not expect those in the world who are not in a relationship with Jesus Christ to follow those standards and to understand why my convictions are so strong, because I know they do not have the Holy Spirit in them as I do.  So what about my efforts and beliefs about “being good” before?  Isn’t that still enough to get into heaven? 

I’m so sorry, but no.  God is a Holy and Pure and Sinless God.  To be in His Presence requires purity.  Could you ever get yourself clean enough?  Pure enough?  Could you ever act absolutely perfect?  To even begin to think you could is, quite bluntly, prideful – godlike, even?  Good does not equal perfect no matter how hard you try.  One more step is required – the act of a mediator, a sacrfice and a cleansing to remove all the impurities from your heart, your soul and your hands so that you can now no longer be separated from God.  Jesus Christ is that mediator, that bridge between the sinners and a most Holy God.

Good is not good enough.  Jesus Christ is Perfect and the Perfect Answer.  And He is my best friend.

And Heaven.  Oh my… I.  Can’t.  Wait.  And I do know for sure because I have a quiet confidence, a peace, a joy, excitement and the promise of Scripture – God’s Word.  See John 3:16 above.  We are promised eternal life when we put our trust in Him. 

I am thrilled that He was patient with me, protected me, guided me, even to places I did not think I wanted to go.  He let me argue, observe, and wait until the last possible moment.  But He never left me and He held me in His Hands when I thought it was all a hoax mere days later.  That is the One True God.  I cannot wait to be in His Presence in Heaven.

I hope to see you there, with all my heart.

*The God of My Story never ends, as my life with Him and my testimony never ends.  But for now, this is enough.  I’ll add more later.  To see how God worked in our lives during my journey through postpartum depression, please see the tab/page link above for more information. 

God of My Story