Tonight, the kids were in bed. Chris was out to see a movie with his friend Shawn – wings and movie. Must be a guy thing. I had the TV on for noise – rerun of The Voice, which I do happen to like. Laundry was coming out of every nook and cranny in my house. Like Legos, I think it reproduces when no one is looking and is suddenly out of control, promising to trip you up at every turn.
Suddenly, the dogs started insanely barking, their noses pointed towards my garage. Wait…no husband, kids are in bed…what? I get up and see that the door from my garage to my kitchen was partly opened. Um… This entire time, Mindy and I are skyping as we usually do when our hubbies have a date night. (spelling and grammar rules are not applicable when skyping!)
Tara: my dogs are going nuts and its making me nervous
Mindy: oh no – i hate when that happens
Tara: well…at least they sound fierce
my garage door coming from the house was open
i’m totally creeped out
probably just the air that did it…but still!!!
am I a freak? I’m a freak
i’m getting the baseball bat
welcome to my internal monologue
Mindy: oh no!!
Mindy: do you want me to come over?
Go ahead, start laughing. It’s ok, really. It gets better.
Mindy got all three of her kids in the car, one of whom was writing a novella about her adventures with George the Class Monkey that week. ”Mom, can I write about going to Miss Tara’s?” They all piled in the car and headed to my house. Meanwhile, I gathered up the courage to sneak past the garage door and get the baseball bat, with a ferocious Golden Retriever by my side. And don’t even mess with the poodle. He’s a superhero in disguise.
I checked on the kids and sure enough, S was awake. ”Oh, hey, Mom! Did you hear me kick on the wall? I heard the dogs barking when I did that!” Insane giggling. Sigh.
She was more than happy to accompany her mommy on the now almost pointless trek to check the garage. Shameless, I know. She donned her pink flip flops, grabbed her stuffed Rainbow Dash pony (of course), and I tasked her with holding my phone. We walked outside, in front of my garage – bigger door, you know.
“Mom, what are you doing?” S asks.
“Um, checking for bad guys?” I offered.
She tilts her little 6 year old head to the side and gave me that look. ”Really?!” with all the sarcasm she could muster. It was impressive. I couldn’t help but bust out laughing. Right there in my driveway, at 8:30pm, Golden Retriever in one hand and a Louisville Slugger in the other.
S stood guard and I checked the garage while G slept soundly in a melatonin-induced coma. Jacque the Super Poodle was caged for the moment. His super powers have to be contained for the good of mankind sometimes.
I checked the garage, around the garage, under the car. As if anyone could hide amidst the chaos called Our Garage. After I gave the all-clear to my 6 year old partner, I told her we were going to wait for Miss Mindy, and that she would be there any minute. She turned around and gave me a funny look. ”Why?”
I mumbled, “…because I’m a big chicken…”
“Where?” she asked as she quickly looked all around her for this proverbial chicken. Once again, I was crossing my legs to keep from peeing my pants in laughter. Not hard after a couple of kids. This whole thing was pretty funny once I got to thinking about it. I could’ve called my neighbors, but I like to keep my insanity contained to close friends. And by the time Chris responded to texts, Mindy was already nearly to my house.
And we know it makes no sense at all that 4 kids, 2 moms, 1 Golden Retriever, and a Louisville Slugger could protect the world from the evils hiding in my garage, but we sure were going to try.
Mindy pulled up, three kids in PJs in tow and they looked as delighted as ever. Field trip! Middle of the night! Rock on! C was armed with George the Class Monkey because he had to come on this adventure to Miss Tara’s
Big Chicken’s house, too. Mindy hung out for a few minutes while the kids (minus G) played a few rounds of Hide-Go-Seek. In the middle of the night. At 8:45pm.
To C’s precious Kindergarten class, you’re welcome.
(In case you were worried (because of course you are), Chris said it was the a/c unit that probably sucked the garage door in and opened it, because it hadn’t been shut all the way in the first place. Oops!)